To the end of 30 minutes.

I am disappointed in myself. Not in my documentary, not in the material I have collected but rather in myself. This disappointment stems from missing out on the smaller things that could add to and make this documentary even better than it is currently. Let me explain where I am currently regarding ‘Women in Uniform’.

My script looking like a worn out soldier.

Friday, Saturday and Sunday saw me picking up my freshly printed paper edit and using it as a map- a guide through the experiences and stories of Karabo, Windvogel, Morodi, Zuma and Bikitsha.  Thank goodness almost 80% of my content was transcribed and I had thought of ‘future Nadia’ when putting together my paper edit! I found it quite easy to track down the individual clips in the mass of audio and that made the process go slightly faster. I quite enjoyed this process as I was keen to sit down and listen to what Karabo had to say about her day in the fire department, or what Morodi had to say about her love of being in the military. It was a good feeling being able to see and hear these different aspects come together in the program Adobe Audition 1.5, as opposed to seeing it only in my paper edit.

Saturday saw me laughing a few times and calling those around me to come and take a listen to what Karabo had to say about her fire suit being ‘supposedly’ fire resistant. I hadn’t realised how attached to this young fire fighter I had actually become. I was so happy to hear all of their voices, hear their mannerisms and see them saying all of this in my head. This part of the process made me feel like a real journalist as opposed to my usual role of a producer who facilitates the activities around me. Cutting clips, saving them and placing them in the order set out by my paper edit gave me a sense of pride in my work which I haven’t felt in a long time. This project felt like I was presenting the women with a platform to talk about issues that don’t get spoken about often enough. I was opening up the discussion though! Doing this through their daily experiences, through their stories as opposed to a sensationalist and explosive piece about the 6^th South African Infantry Battalion. 

A little snooze over the ever-changing documentary script.

Sunday. I was losing steam. At least this was one day of the week that I got to sleep in, have a cup of coffee and savour the crumpets my digsmate had made. Then I missioned to the Journalism Department- ready to record my narration and ‘klap’ everything together. Finally, all the tiny clips were coming together to look like a decent whole. The narration was in, the clips were in and I was editing and saving like a pro. Little celebrations were going off in my head. 

And then in hit me like a bad smell. My documentary was not 30 minutes long. It was 23 minutes. I was crushed. What to do? What to do? Should I continue my doccie and hunt down “filler” material from all my interviews? Should I just mix it down and call it complete at 23 mins? No. I will not compromise this collage of stories; important stories from Karabo, Windvogel, Morodi, Zuma and Bikitsha’s lives as women in uniform. I will not compromise my professionalism as a media practitioner. Yes, I have missed my deadline, and yes that makes me mad at myself, but I would rather follow through with this, to the end. To the end of 30 Minutes. 

So dear reader, there will be one more blog post when the documentary is complete. I hope you will stick around with me long enough to read it and to hear the final product because that’s why I do what I do; to not only create great journalism, but to get people like you to listen to and appreciate it. 

Yours in documentary making, 

Nadia :)

The Question Pot keeps boiling over

Today I received feedback from my Radio Production class regarding the oral exam/presentation we had to give at the beginning of this term. One of the general themes which seemed to emerge was that there was enough clarity on my choice of elective “Women in the Military” and that I do not allow myself the chance to incorporate my identity into my work. I took these comments in and sat for close to an hour mulling over these aspects and asking myself questions as to why I am doing what I am doing? Why women? Why the Military? What is my identity and how do I represent myself? So here goes...

I am a coloured woman. I was born in a time where I can study anywhere, use the same toilet as a white, Indian or black person and kiss any guy I like not because of his skin colour but because of his cute smile or his engulfing laugh. I have had to struggle, fight and work damn hard to get where I am today. I believe that I am a feminist as I have no issues with working one day while my husband buys groceries and cleans the house. I am a strong and independent woman. I was raised by a mother, father, grandmother, grandfather, stepmother, multiple aunties and a few uncles. I am a product of my community’s efforts and for that I am forever grateful. This afternoon saw me come up with these identifiers and I am satisfied with them. Have they influenced my choice of elective? Definitely.

When I decided to choose an elective, I remember saying to my lecturer, Jeanne, that I wanted to focus my sights on gender roles being “switched”. Possible story ideas such as ‘Single Fathers’, ‘Women in Military’ or ‘Women Who choose their career over a family’ interested me immensely and after touching base with Jeanne, she recommended I choose one and focus on it throughout. I chose ‘Women in Military’, and today, I found myself asking “why” multiple times? I came up with two simple answers: I am interested in pursuing stories which see women defying the set roles that society has created for them and watching them succeed in these new and changing roles. The second reason: I still believe that women are not truly equal in society and the Military proves to be an excellent case study considering that men still dominate the SANDF (South African National Defence Force) hands down. This is evident from the women in 6 SAI I have interviewed thus far. It has been reassuring to know though that the Defence Force is taking steps to change this- even if it is still a distant vision.  

I find myself interviewing these women and letting them know that they may fight for our country as a whole but they are also fighting for the rights of women. They are silent heros, deployed to countries like Berundi, DRC or Sudan on Peace keeping missions. I had never heard about their work until my time at 6 SAI. Then I wonder, is a month like “Women’s Month” even necessary if we don’t pay tribute to these women? Then again, perhaps we shouldn’t even have a Women’s Month at all as it shows that women are still not fully appreciated as equal and therefore need a month to fight for what is lacking. So a documentary highlighting these women’s roles in the service of our country is needed to ensure that the conversation surrounding women’s struggles continues until we can prove Captain Windvogel wrong when she says that “Women will never be equal to men..”. 

This blog post has taken a different stance from my usual reflective processes regarding the interviews I conduct. It is my chance to remind or rather keep questioning my decisions, a chance to make myself responsible for the stories that I record and the manner in which I choose to represent them. In representing them I have to also remain true to what it is I stand for and I think that is what I need to not lose sight of- the tension between the two and how I manage to make the two ends meet. 

Nadia